Movie Reviews

Return of the Living Dead (MGM, 1985)

Directed by Dan O’Bannon

 This is a true classic of both eighties horror and “punksploitation”, and MGM has done a pretty solid job with their new DVD release.  For those who have never seen this film before, ROTLD is one of the few horror comedies that actually succeeds on both counts.  Starting with the premise that George Romero’s ‘Night of the Living Dead’ was a fictionalized version of real events, ‘Return’ shows respect for the films that inspired it while taking the zombie genre in new directions. 

Thom Mathews plays a new employee at Uneeda Medical supplies.  When he asks a veteran co-worker (James Karen) what’s the weirdest thing he’s ever seen at the warehouse, they go into the basement where canisters containing the remnants of zombies are stored.  Before the credits have even rolled, they inadvertently break the seal on one of the canisters, releasing a noxious gas that revives the dead, including the cadavers stored in the warehouse freezer and a half dog used for medical study.

There’s also good performances from Clu Gulager as the owner of the supply company, Don Calfa as a mortician, and a bunch of punk rockers including Linnea Quigley as a death obsessed nympho who does a graveyard strip routine.  Once the zombies start running amok it’s pretty much non-stop action.  Nonetheless, director O’Bannon recognizes the value of his cast and allows the actors time to flesh out their roles.

In addition to being a first rate zombie flick, ‘Return’ also boasts an excellent punk rock soundtrack.  The Cramps, TSOL, Roky Erikson, 45 Grave, and others provide appropriate background music for the onslaught of animated corpses.  Despite a low budget, the special effects are pretty effective, and the humor never ruins the atmosphere of horror.  If you’re a horror fan and you’ve never seen this one before, I highly recommend you rectify that situation.  If you have seen it, then you know this one is worth buying.  (Bob Ignizio)

Motel Hell (MGM, 1980)

Directed by Kevin Connor

 ‘Motel Hell’ has been a personal favorite of mine for some time.  A lot of that has to do with timing; it was one of the first ‘R’ rated horror movies I ever saw.  With that in mind, I decided to buy the DVD (which also includes ‘Deranged’, see separate review) and see if it still stands the test of time.  Surprisingly, it does.  Anchored by solid performances from Rory Calhoun as Farmer Vincent and Nancy Parson as his sister Ida (also in the ‘Porkys’ movies), ‘Motel Hell’ walks the fine line between horror and humor with the skill of a Ringling Brothers high wire act.  Farmer Vincent is renowned for his exquisite smoked meats, which he claims are made with no preservatives.  Unbeknownst to his loyal customers, however, Vincent has been mixing the pork with a healthy portion of long pig (human flesh, for those who don’t know).  One night while out hunting for sausage makings, Vincent snares a motorcyclist and his girlfriend.  The cyclist gets hung up in the smoke house, but Vincent is smitten with the girl and decides to take her home and nurse her back to health.

In the meantime, guests start showing up to Vincent’s hotel, Motel Hello, thanks to a personal add placed in a swinger’s magazine by sister Ida.  Faster than you can say “Oscar Meyer”, these kinky couples find themselves planted in Vincent and Ida’s secret garden up to their necks in dirt and with their vocal chords slit.  The same fate befalls a rock group called Ivan and the Terribles (featuring a pre-‘Cheers’ John Ratzenberger) and a nosy health inspector.  Wolfman Jack also shows up as a televangelist, but sadly goes uneaten.

Bottom line, ‘Motel Hell’ is a fun movie.  Despite a lack of extras, MGM’s widescreen DVD presentation is quite acceptable, and for the price you really can’t complain.  (BI)

‘Deranged’ (MGM, 1974)

Directed by Alan Ormsby and Jeff Gillen

This 1974 drive-in shocker was until recently the most accurate account of the real life murder and grave robbing spree of Wisconsin nut job Ed Gein.   While the recent ‘Ed Gein’ film starring Steve Railsback follows the events a little more closely, ‘Deranged’ is far more enjoyable.  Co-directors Gillen and Ormsby had previously worked with Bob (‘A Christmas Story’, ‘Porkys’) Clark on his early horror films ‘Children Shouldn’t Play With Dead Things’ and ‘Death Dream’.  While they make some missteps, the central performance by Roberts Blossom (probably best known as McCully Culkin’s creepy old neighbor in ‘Home Alone’) as “Ezra Cobb, the butcher of Woodside” keeps things from falling apart. 

Poor old Ezra is the quintessential mama’s boy.  When mother Cobb passes on, leaving him with a final warning to avoid those awful dirty girls, Ezra’s mind snaps.  Before long, he digs up his mother’s body and takes it home.  To keep Mrs. Cobb in good condition, Ez is soon digging up other corpses for “repairs”.  Ezra also starts to crave the company of living women, but unable to overcome his twisted upbringing it’s not long before they join the collection of stiffs in his farm house.

While all this certainly sounds grim and depressing, ‘Deranged’ is lightened somewhat by the effective use of gallows humor.  The quality of the supporting players varies, but none are so bad that they ruin the mood.  The main thing that prevents ‘Deranged’ from being a classic is the boneheaded idea of using an onscreen narrator.  Every time this guy comes on the screen, it turns the film into cheap melodrama.  Still, if you’re a fan of low budget 70’s horror you’ll want to check this out. (BI)

Gremlins (Warner, 1984)

Directed by Joe Dante

This, along with Steven Spielberg’s ‘Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom’, is the film responsible for the PG-13 rating being created.  Call me a hardened gorehound if you will, but I don’t really see anything in this movie that would scar the average kid so long as his parents actually did their part and provided the “guidance” the PG rating suggests.   But hey, why should parents do their job when they can get someone else to do it for them, right?  Anyway, about the movie.

‘Gremlins’ is one of those movies that is something of a touchstone for the generation that saw it in the theatres during their formative years.  Unlike similar films that made an impact on young audiences at the time (‘The Goonies’, ‘Transformers: The Movie’, etc.) ‘Gremlins’ is still worth watching as an adult.  The movie is well written, well cast, and well directed, and the pre-CGI effects still look pretty good for the most part.  A lot of the credit has to go to director Joe Dante, who toned down some of the nastier moments in the original screenplay and added some warmth and humanity to the story.

I seriously doubt that anyone reading this review doesn’t know the plot, so I’ll talk a little about the excellent bonus features on the disc.  There are two separate audio commentaries, one with Dante and the production and effects team, the other on which the director is joined by principal actors Phoebe Cates, Zach Galligan, Dick Miller, and the voice of Gizmo Howie Mandell.  Both are a lot of fun to listen to and very informative.  (BI)