Prior to making the low budget horror epics ‘Teenage
Zombie House Massacre’ and ‘Midnight Skater’, the Campbell brothers and the
rest of the Speed Freak Productions crew were involved in the wild and wooly
world of backyard wrestling. As part of their deal with Tempe Video to
distribute ‘Midnight Skater’ nationwide on DVD, the Speed freaks also got
the opportunity to release this ‘Best of’ compilation of some of their most
entertaining backyard brawls. This is pretty much the first time I’ve
watched any backyard wrestling, so I can’t really compare this to anyone
else’s endeavors in that area. All I can say is I enjoyed watching this.
Lots of falling on barbed wire, cheesegraters to the forehead, wrestlers
getting set on fire, and other incredibly unsafe activities transpire for
the viewer’s enjoyment. Obviously, do not try this at home. The first
match between is pretty obviously faked (the punches are a mile away from
connecting), but later bouts look better. Things are kept interesting by
good editing and quality ring side announcing. As a parody of pro
wrestling, which to some extent this is, ‘Splatter Rampage Wrestling’ is
pretty funny. I enjoyed most of the matches on their own ridiculous merits,
as well. The price is reasonable, and it makes a good party video. (Bob
Ignizio)
For a movie that has absolutely no reason to exist, I
suppose this isn’t too bad. It takes itself fairly seriously, delivers a
few decent scares, and features a typically excellent performance from R.
Lee Ermey, best known as the drill sergeant in ‘Full Metal Jacket’. On the
downside, all the performances (even Ermey’s) feel like actors acting.
There are numerous changes to the storyline, none of them improvements and
many just boneheaded Hollywood clichés. There’s considerably more gore on
display, but in my opinion the original did more by showing less, and this
is coming from a guy who loves Italian cannibal zombie movies.
The original ‘Texas Chain Saw Massacre’ is one of those
films that just can’t be improved on. There are so many memorable scenes in
the original. From the opening quick shots of violated corpses to
Leatherface’s final dance, almost every scene is a keeper. This remake has
not one scene that will stick with you 10 minutes after you leave the
theatre. Despite the degree to which the makers of the new ‘Massacre’ have
played up the “based on a true story” angle, you will never once think that
you are watching anything other than pure fiction. And for the record, the
original bears more resemblance to the real case that ‘Chain Saw’ is based
on. Some critics have said otherwise, but I think they need to watch the
original again and read one of the books on Wisconsin serial killer Ed Gein
(who not only inspired ‘Chain Saw’, but ‘Psycho’, ‘Deranged’, and ‘Silence
of the Lambs’ as well) to refresh their memories. (Bob Ignizio)
The “hick horror” revival continues. First it was
‘Wrong Turn’, then ‘Cabin Fever’ and the remake of ‘Saw’. Now here’s an
ultra low budget attempt that at least gets an ‘A’ for effort, but
ultimately a C- overall. The basic set up is like a combination of
‘The Blair Witch Project’ and ‘Deliverance’. A bunch of city folk
decide to take a “float trip” (apparently some local slang for canoeing)
near the town of Old Mines. The town is associated with an urban legend
involving a deformed mental deficient known as “The Boy”. “The Boy”
murders any outsiders who make the mistake of actually stopping in Old
Pines. Our intrepid group decides to find out if these legends are
true, and wind up wishing they had stayed at home in the kiddie pool.
For the first 45 minutes of this movie, the
characters are given reason after reason to get the hell out of
Mayberry. They are harassed by Old Mines law enforcement, treated like
lepers at the Old Mines general store, and warned by the mayor’s daughter
that the legend is true and they are going to be killed if they don’t
hit the road. When “The Boy” finally makes his head-crushing entrance,
all you can say is, “serves you right”. As in ‘Wrong Turn’, whenever
the opportunity presents itself for the characters to do something
stupid, they take it. And although the characters spend a good amount
of time running their mouths, we don’t get much of a sense as to who
most of them are. One character tells a story about being sucked under
a canoe on an earlier float trip with his family, and having his ankle
grabbed by “something”. It would seem this is where the title of this
film comes from, and that it has some significance, but it never pays
off.
On the plus side, the acting and production values
are pretty good, and the film does build suspense and atmosphere at
first. It’s just that the “grueling horror” portion of the movie
doesn’t deliver. There’s plenty of gore, but it’s shot in the flat,
lingering manner of an H.G. Lewis film. At least it’s done better than
a Lewis film, but for the most part it doesn’t have any impact; it’s
more like a special effects demo reel. There are all sorts of little
tips of the hat to better films like ‘Halloween’, ‘Friday the 13th
Part 2’, and ‘The Texas Chain Saw Massacre’. I enjoyed a similar
approach in ‘Cabin Fever’, but here it just draws attention to how much
better the films being referenced are. As critical as this review may
be, there is some definite talent involved in making this movie. It’s
just a shame that it was wasted on a half baked script that, with a
little more effort, could have been better. (Bob Ignizio)
A bunch of dumb-asses get stranded in the woods of
West Virginia where they are stalked by a family of cannibals. If
you’ve read my review of ‘The Hills Have Eyes’, this should sound like
deja vu. Unfortunately, ‘Wrong Turn’ doesn’t have any of the substance
that made ‘Hills’ a horror classic. This is one of those movies that
truly exemplify what Roger Ebert has called the “idiot plot”. In other
words, if the characters in ‘Wrong Turn’ were not dumber than a bag of
hammers, most of the events in this film could not have happened in the
manner they play out. Even the characters who are supposed to be smart
and resourceful do incredibly dumb things. Aside from being morons,
none of these characters (including the cannibals) are even marginally
interesting. There’s also very little suspense and the kills are pretty
bland. Although there is always some sort of “action” taking place,
none of it has any real energy. This is just typical Hollywood horror:
not bad enough to be enjoyed as camp and nowhere close to good enough to
be effective. Don’t waste your time like I did. (Bob Ignizio)
Prior to making the low budget horror epics ‘Teenage
Zombie House Massacre’ and ‘Midnight Skater’, the Campbell brothers and the
rest of the Speed Freak Productions crew were involved in the wild and wooly
world of backyard wrestling. As part of their deal with Tempe Video to
distribute ‘Midnight Skater’ nationwide on DVD, the Speed freaks also got
the opportunity to release this ‘Best of’ compilation of some of their most
entertaining backyard brawls. This is pretty much the first time I’ve
watched any backyard wrestling, so I can’t really compare this to anyone
else’s endeavors in that area. All I can say is I enjoyed watching this.
Lots of falling on barbed wire, cheesegraters to the forehead, wrestlers
getting set on fire, and other incredibly unsafe activities transpire for
the viewer’s enjoyment. Obviously, do not try this at home. The first
match between is pretty obviously faked (the punches are a mile away from
connecting), but later bouts look better. Things are kept interesting by
good editing and quality ring side announcing. As a parody of pro
wrestling, which to some extent this is, ‘Splatter Rampage Wrestling’ is
pretty funny. I enjoyed most of the matches on their own ridiculous merits,
as well. The price is reasonable, and it makes a good party video. (Bob
Ignizio)
For a movie that has absolutely no reason to exist, I
suppose this isn’t too bad. It takes itself fairly seriously, delivers a
few decent scares, and features a typically excellent performance from R.
Lee Ermey, best known as the drill sergeant in ‘Full Metal Jacket’. On the
downside, all the performances (even Ermey’s) feel like actors acting.
There are numerous changes to the storyline, none of them improvements and
many just boneheaded Hollywood clichés. There’s considerably more gore on
display, but in my opinion the original did more by showing less, and this
is coming from a guy who loves Italian cannibal zombie movies. 
The “hick horror” revival continues. First it was
‘Wrong Turn’, then ‘Cabin Fever’ and the remake of ‘Saw’. Now here’s an
ultra low budget attempt that at least gets an ‘A’ for effort, but
ultimately a C- overall. The basic set up is like a combination of
‘The Blair Witch Project’ and ‘Deliverance’. A bunch of city folk
decide to take a “float trip” (apparently some local slang for canoeing)
near the town of Old Mines. The town is associated with an urban legend
involving a deformed mental deficient known as “The Boy”. “The Boy”
murders any outsiders who make the mistake of actually stopping in Old
Pines. Our intrepid group decides to find out if these legends are
true, and wind up wishing they had stayed at home in the kiddie pool. 
A bunch of dumb-asses get stranded in the woods of
West Virginia where they are stalked by a family of cannibals. If
you’ve read my review of ‘The Hills Have Eyes’, this should sound like
deja vu. Unfortunately, ‘Wrong Turn’ doesn’t have any of the substance
that made ‘Hills’ a horror classic. This is one of those movies that
truly exemplify what Roger Ebert has called the “idiot plot”. In other
words, if the characters in ‘Wrong Turn’ were not dumber than a bag of
hammers, most of the events in this film could not have happened in the
manner they play out. Even the characters who are supposed to be smart
and resourceful do incredibly dumb things. Aside from being morons,
none of these characters (including the cannibals) are even marginally
interesting. There’s also very little suspense and the kills are pretty
bland. Although there is always some sort of “action” taking place,
none of it has any real energy. This is just typical Hollywood horror:
not bad enough to be enjoyed as camp and nowhere close to good enough to
be effective. Don’t waste your time like I did. (Bob Ignizio)