Capsule reviews of Assault on Precinct 13, Bright Future, The Last Shot, Larva, Son of the Mask, and A Tale of Two Sisters

‘Razorteeth’ (2004, Sub Rosa)

Directed by Mark and John Polonia 

Brothers Mark and John Polonia have made 25 films since 1987’s ‘Splatter Farm’.  You’d think by now they would have achieved some level of competence, but ‘Razorteeth’ shows that is definitely not the case.  This is just awful.  It’s not that ‘Razorteeth’ is a blatant rip-off of ‘Piranha’ that bothers me.  Hell, ‘Piranha’ was a rip-off of ‘Jaws’ to begin with.  But where ‘Piranha’ was a worthwhile flick in its own right thanks to the skills of director Joe Dante, smart casting choices, and a witty and fun screenplay by John Sayles, ‘Razorteeth’ fails on all levels.  The acting is bad, the story is derivative and sloppy, and the direction uninspired.  There’s not even much in the way of gore or other exploitation elements.  Fans of “so bad it’s good” type movies might find a few moments of inspired ineptitude, but even they would probably do better with the Polonia’s earlier film ‘Feeders’.  This is a pure suckfest through and through.  (Bob Ignizio)

‘Sixteen Tongues’ (2004, Sub Rosa)

Directed by Scooter McCrae 

The world of ‘Sixteen Tongues’ is one in which pornography has practically infiltrated every aspect of life.  The seedy hotel where we meet our protagonists is adorned with posters for phone sex lines and sordid websites, and not only does the TV offer XXX rated viewing options, you have to pay to turn them off.  Ginny (Jane Chase) is a genetically modified killing machine with clitorises under her eyelids.  Every time she blinks, she’s sexually stimulated.  Although obviously this could get annoying, it’s necessary to keep her killer instincts in check.  Her girlfriend Alice (Alik Silens) is a computer hacker trying to track down her brother’s killer.  Adrian Torque (Crawford James) is a cop who was disfigured in a fire.  To repair the damage, the tongue meat of sixteen other victims of the fire was grafted to his body.  When these characters meet up, it ultimately leads to a violent conclusion. 

‘Sixteen Tongues’ features almost constant nudity on the part of the female leads and scenes of graphic and disturbing violence.  That said, I wouldn’t classify it as exploitation.  It’s more like an artsy underground film with lots of ideas lifted from “cyberpunk” science fiction ala William Gibson.  The performances are believable, if not entirely professional level, and for a shot on video flick ‘Sixteen Tongues’ looks pretty good.  Not everything works in this movie, but it’s interesting nonetheless.  Some of the plot devices are pretty absurd, and the movie takes itself so seriously that at times it comes off as pretentious.  Director Scooter McCrae has a definite vision, and I think he achieves exactly what he set out to do with this film.  It’s not going to appeal to everyone, but if you like edgy, underground film and dark sci-fi, you might want to check this out.  (Bob Ignizio)