‘Versus’ (grey market tape, 2000)

Directed by Ryuhei Kitamura

There hasn’t been a good “party” horror film like this since Peter Jackson’s ‘Dead/Alive’.  ‘Versus’ is virtually plotless, shot almost entirely in one forest location, and full of over the top action, gore, and humor.  The basic set up is that two convicts escape while in transit and meet up with a bunch of gangsters.  The gangsters are holding a girl prisoner, and one of the convicts decides to help her, although not entirely sure of his reasons.  When a fight breaks out, one of the gangsters is killed but soon comes back as a zombie.   Our hero escapes into the woods with the girl, and the gangsters follow.   

Soon, however, they find themselves in the body dumping ground they’ve used for countless hits, and faster than you can say “Lucio Fulci” the victims rise from their graves and a zombie/gangster battle royale ensues.  Eventually the big boss of the gangsters shows up and turns out to be some sort of immortal bad guy planning to use the female prisoner’s blood to open the gates of hell.  And our heroic convict?  He’s the reincarnation of the bad guy’s adversary but doesn’t know it yet.  That’s about it as far as plot.   

The rest of the movie is just one long continuous fight scene.  Pretty much any body part you can name gets hacked off, shot off, or ripped off and used as a weapon.  In short, the forest gets painted red.  Obviously this is not the sort of movie that’s going to win the best foreign film Oscar.  If you like over the top horror comedies like ‘Evil Dead 2’ or the aforementioned ‘Dead/Alive’, however, ‘Versus’ is probably right up your alley. (Bob Ignizio)

‘Visitor Q’ (grey market VHS)

Directed by Takashi Miike 

Boy, is this a weird one.  I’m not talking kind of weird, like ‘Being John Malkovich’ or the average David Lynch movie.  I’m talking really weird.  You want evidence that Japanese culture is fucked up?  Look no further than this movie, which is considered mainstream entertainment in its country of origin.  The movie starts with a Japanese man paying his daughter for sex.  On his way home, a stranger hits him on the head with a rock for no apparent reason.  After getting released form the hospital, the man gets waylaid by the stranger again.  Next thing you know the stranger has been invited to stay with the man at his home.  Here we are introduced to the wife, a junkie who turns tricks to support her habit.  She’s pretty much happy so long as her son, who routinely beats her, doesn’t mark her face.  The son, in turn, is routinely bullied and abused by local punks.  

‘Visitor Q’ follows the basic plot of ‘Teorema’ (or ‘Down and Out in Beverly Hills’ for those of you who don’t watch foreign flicks), where a magical outsider comes into the lives of a dysfunctional family and uses extreme measures to set them on the right course.  In ‘Visitor Q’, however, the price paid to achieve familial salvation is high indeed.  Incest, murder, necrophilia, and copious lactation are apparently all necessary to get this family back on track.  Did I mention that this is more or less a comedy?  In the hands of a hack, this sort of thing would just be pure exploitation.  Miike, however, is far better than that.  He refuses to let the viewer write this off as just an exercise in poor taste. 

Dissecting the film’s message (and I believe it does have one) is difficult without a better understanding of Japanese culture today.  Near as I can figure, though, Miike seems to be saying that the Japanese people have become too detached from their own lives and families.  Therefore they need some really extreme shit to wake them up and make them realize the importance of family.   About the only other serious filmmaker I can think of who goes to such extremes to make a point is Peter Greenaway, and like his films this one will no doubt trouble my thoughts for some time.  Good job, Mr. Miike. (Bob Ignizio)

Zombie 4: After Death (Shriek Show, 1988)

Directed by Claudio Fragasso 

This is an especially pungent hunk of well aged parmesan cheese.  ‘Zombi’ was the European title for George Romero’s ‘Dawn of the Dead’.  When that movie made a butt load of money, the Italian film industry fell all over itself making rip-offs, knock-offs, and unofficial sequels.  Arguably the best was Lucio Fulci’s classic ‘Zombi 2’, known to us Americans simply as ‘Zombie’.  To make things more confusing, when Fulci made a sequel to his fake sequel, it was released as ‘Zombie 3’ in the U.S., thus causing those not in the know to wonder where the hell ‘Zombie 2’ was.  That brings us to ‘Zombie 4: After Death’, a completely unrelated movie that nonetheless shares with Fulci’s classic an island setting and lots of walking, flesh-eating corpses. 

If you’re a fan of Euro trash movies, this ought to work for you as a guilty pleasure.  I know I enjoyed it even as I groaned at the sloppy plotting, cheesy looking zombies, and bad dialogue.  The movie can’t even figure out whether its zombies are the standard stupid, slow-moving Romero variety, or the fast moving, intelligent sort seen in Dan O’Bannon’s ‘Return of the Living Dead’.  Still, ‘Zombi 4’ delivers where it matters.  Heads roll, eyeballs roll, a guy gets a zombie’s fist punched right through his stomach, and then gets strangled to death by the hand reaching up from out of the gaping wound.  Lots of dumb characters, including the nominal “hero” played by gay porn star Jeff Stryker, run around in the jungle looking “freaked out” as Stryker describes it in a bonus interview included on the DVD.  It’s entertainment of the basest level, but sometimes that’s what I’m in the mood for. 

Unlike most crappy U.S. horror films, which tend to get bogged down with unconvincing character development, weak attempts at logical explanations for everything, and timidity towards the gore, the Italians just go for all out carnage.  Sure, it’s a “bad” movie, but it doesn’t have any pretensions of being anything other than what it is.  If you’re a fan of these sorts of films, you might even feel a nostalgic warmth as you watch, remembering the glory days of big box video tapes from companies like Wizard and Lightning.  If you’re a really old bastard you might even recall the good times misspent seeing crap like this at the Drive-In.  Not really a strong recommendation, but if you like the genre this might be worth a watch.  (Bob Ignizio)

Bob’s Top 20 movies of 2002 

I hate making this list, because as usual the studios save most of their serious quality movies for the end of the year.  That means some of them have just opened around here.  Regardless, these are the flicks that came out in 2002 that I saw and enjoyed the most. 

1.      The Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers – Yeah, I’m a geek.  Yeah, I played Dungeons and Dragons as a kid.  This movie still rocks.

2.      Bowling for Columbine – Another entertaining and insightful pseudo documentary from Michael Moore.  Pass the ammo.

3.      Y Tu Mama Tambien – Just a beautiful film.  Why doesn’t anyone in America make movies like this?

4.      Amores Peros – The lives of three people and their dogs intersect in a nasty car accident.  Poignant and fascinating.

5.      Punch Drunk Love – Adam Sandler plays crazy for real. 

6.      Dahmer – And speaking of crazy… 

7.      The Devil’s Backbone – Nothing like a good old fashioned ghost story done right.

8.      Spider-Man – Possibly the best superhero movie ever.

9.      Super Troopers – Total dumb ass humor.  I laughed a lot.

10.  The Bourne Identity – Proof that action movies can be intelligent and exciting at the same time.

11.  Audition – The Japanese make some truly disturbing films.  I’m not complaining.

12.  CQ – The love child of ‘Barbarella’ and Jean Luc Godard. 

13.  Human Nature – Another bizarre yet accessible comedy from the screenwriter of ‘Being John Malkovich’

14.  Scotland, P.A. – ‘MacBeth’ was never funnier.

15.  Sunshine State – Great characters and engrossing subplots caught in a so-so main story.

16.  She Creature – Atmospheric old-school horror.

17.  Fiancée of Dracula – Surreal erotic horror from a master of the genre.

18.  Frailty – A dumb twist ending, but otherwise a solid thriller.

19.  The Ring – Fails to live up to the Japanese original, but still offers some chills.

20.  Brotherhood of the Wolf – Fun action/adventure film in need of a good editor.