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Cirrhosis
of the Brain
An
interview with Russ Romance of Femsickliver
By Bob Ignizio
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Femsickliver l to r: Tommy Teabagger,
Biff, Russ Romance, and Greg
Picture provided by Russ Romance. |
Femsickliver are the sort of band that demands a
reaction from their listeners. Some find them appalling and offensive;
others find them funny, and perhaps a few take the band’s philosophy of sex,
durgs, and rock ‘n’ roll seriously. Whatever your opinion of Femsickliver,
they refuse to be ignored. After receiving a satisfactory bribe and making
sure the check cleared, I conducted the following interrogation of
Femsickliver vocalist Russ Romance. Just how sick are these guys? Read on
and find out.
Warning: The
following interview is strewn with naughty words and sexist comments and is
generally in poor taste. The opinions expressed by Russ Romance while in a
state of extreme inebriation are his and his alone, and do not necessarily
reflect the opinions of anyone involved with Utter Trash. Read
at your own risk.
Utter Trash: Get me up to speed
on the legend of the liver. How did the original band come about, why did
it cease to exist, and was its resurrection really necessary?
Russ Romance: Ah shit, the original line-up just came
about from a lot of alcohol abuse. I lived with The Phantom at the time and
the idea got brought up. I wrote some lyrics, he wrote some riffs. We
started jamming out and I realized I had an old drum machine that we could
use to flesh out the tunes - well – we did that - and then The Grog Shop had an
open mic night!! So the two-man line-up had its day in the sun. It was
really obnoxious!! So the idea of keeping it a 2 man band was formed just
by the sheer obnoxiousness and stupidity of it. After a few gigs, Phantom
went on the road playing bass for Sylvain Sylvain - when he got back, he was
pretty fucked up on H and what not. So we didn't hang out that much any
more, leading to the dissolution of the band. Regardless, we opened for The
Mentors and caused a near-riot at the Euclid Tavern. Our goals had been
fulfilled. Was the resurrection necessary?? Not really, but people wanted
to rock - and I wanted to get high and screw girls, so it was just a matter
of time.
UT: Who's in the band right now
and what do they do? Are they all as disturbed as you are, or are they just
in it for the money, free hookers, and easy access to drugs?
RR: Biff plays drums, Tommy Teabagger plays bass, and
Greg is on guitar. I do the vocals. Shit. I think the fact that
anyone wanted anything to do with the band is a sign that they were pretty
fucking disturbed. And fuck - I wouldn't get the band going again without a
bunch of perverts backing me. The cheap blow and hookers are just a bonus
to us all.
UT: What the fuck is a Femsick
Liver anyway?
RR: Listen son. First off it's FEMSICKLIVER. One big
ol' word. And I only revealed the meaning of the name to the band members a
couple weeks ago. This one trashy slut I knew though caught on to the band
name's meaning though!!! What a trashy whore, I love that shit!! But even
the rest of the dudes in my band had to earn the ability to learn what the
name is all about, I sure as hell ain't just gonna spill the beans.
UT: Other than the Mentors, what
are your influences?
RR: Ah, you busted me on my favorite influence!! El
Duce!!! I also dig Tesco Vee/Meatmen, puke spit & guts, The Child
Molesters, Jim Beam, and just being an asshole in general.
UT: Who is a better drummer -
Biff, or your old drum machine?
RR: Fuck man you ask some tough ones!!! The ol' drum
machine was a lot more stable when I could operate it!!! Then again, biff
can rock the ol' tunes and jam some new ones!! Not to mention he's a young'
un , so he attracts the young cunt, and I appreciate that.
UT: How much booze do you
consume in the average week? How important is inebriation to creating your
art?
RR: Inebriation is essential to my art and I ain't
bullshitting. I typically go through a couple fifths of Jim Beam a week,
along with a lot of weed and pills. I usually come up with my lyrics when I
have a variety of influences. Typically a lot of weed and some percosets/oxys,
too. When I get in that state of mind, the lyrics just seem to flow.
UT: Despite looking like an
overweight muppet and writing songs that degraded women, El Duce never
seemed to have a problem getting laid by his female fans. Do the members of
The Liver have women shamelessly throwing themselves in their direction as
well?
RR: Hell yeah. We all get our fair share of groupies,
to say the least!! I love the chicks dancing for us and whatnot!!! And
it's not just great for us!! I mean there's only four of us and lots more
chicks wanting to get with us! Hell - we weed out the fucking stuck up
bitches and leave the crazy partying girls behind for our fans!!!
UT: What do you say to those who
find your lyrics offensive?
RR: Well it's always dudes saying we're offensive. I
say - hey - spread the word - tell your woman - and your friends - about how
offensive we are!!! Chances are those broads will be hangin' with us
later.
UT: You guys were voted best
punk band at the Cleveland Music Fest. To what do you attribute your
receiving this honor?
R.R.: Well. The voting for that was available to any
reader of the Scene magazine. I figure a lot of people must have gotten
sick of all the faggot boy bands pretending to be punk rock n roll in this
city and gave us their vote. We certainly appreciate it!! Though in a
rare display of modesty, I gotta say some of the better bands in town didn't
choose to participate in the whole deal. Hell I wouldn’t have either, but I
wanted to piss people off and get some studio time.
UT: What is the ultimate goal of
Femsickliver? Maybe if everyone knew what it was, they could help you
achieve it and then you guys could stop playing, the sun would come out, and
the world would be a better place.
RR: Ah you ain't gonna get rid of us that easy!!! My
goal is women and drugs for free.....as we spread the message, some of the
younger dudes seem to understand!! And with younger dudes, comes younger
women. I ain't gonna be satisfied til I can screw a 16 year old girl every
night while she gives me some free blow and oxycontins!!! And there's
always new towns to spread this mission to!!! So I think we might be around
for a while!!! Cuz every town has some dudes wanting to rock and some girls
wanting to rock and more.....
UT: Anything else you want to
say?
RR: Bring us your women and sisters.....I want tits at
the shows!!!! And a good slutfuckin for all of us!!!
Visit Femsickliver's
website.
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