You’d
think after seeing superheroes done right in the ‘X-Men’ and
‘Spider-Man’ franchises, Hollywood might have learned to stop doing
these kind of movies half ass. Guess not. Instead, ‘The Fantastic
Four’ feels more like the Christopher Reeve ‘Superman’ movies in the way
it drags out the origin phase of the story and tries to focus on
relationships and romance instead of action and fun. Now you may be
saying to yourself, “hey, I liked the Superman movies. I’m not a comic
book geek and I don’t really care how faithful an adaptation this is as
long as it’s a good movie.” And I’d agree with you. Problem is, this
isn’t a good movie. As much as they were bogged down with drama, the
Superman movies still delivered when it came time for the action
sequences. ‘Fantastic Four’ does not. You’d find more exciting fight
scenes in the average Sci-Fi original series. Probably better special
effects, too, or at least as good. Good casting might have saved this,
but except for Michael Chiklis as Ben Grimm/The Thing, none of the
actors made any real impression on me. Strictly carboard. ‘The
Fantastic Four’ might make an okay rental if you’re just looking for
something to kill a couple of hours, but that’s about it. There’s
plenty worse, but to be honest I’d rather watch something really
bad than a mediocre film like this. (Bob Ignizio)
Now
this is the kind of movie Full Moon fans want from the company. It’s cheap
but competently made, and more importantly it’s stupid but in an
entertaining way. Basically this is ‘Child’s Play’ with a cookie instead of
a doll. Gary Bussey plays the homicidal nutjob whose spirit inhabits the
deadly desert. Busey is really the only reason this movie is worth
watching, but it’s enough of a reason that I’d recommend this for trash
connoisseurs. Not great, but if you’re a fan of Full Moon’s oeuvre this’ll
satisfy. I really do wish Band would stray a little from formula once in a
while, though. Sure, he’s filling a market niche, but it’s a niche that’s
now being filled by other companies like Tempe and Asylum (and even some
bigger studios like Columbia/Tristar). Band and company really need to hit
one out of the park soon to regain their status as the company to beat for
‘B’ horror. Full Moon needs to put out another flick like ‘Pit and the
Pendulum’ or ‘The Dead Hate the Living’ (past releases which rose above the
level of mere product) soon or risk being overtaken by those who have
followed in their footsteps. (Bob Ignizio)
How
could this movie not be nominated for best documentary? The academy
voters are morons. But I digress. This really is the best documentary
of the year in my opinion. For 13 summers in a row, an eccentric,
obsessed guy named Timothy Treadwell went to Alaska to live among the
grizzly bears. Treadwell says he was there to protect the bears,
although it seems clear from this movie that other psychological factors
motivated him as well. Regardless, for those 13 summers Treadwell
somehow managed to co-exist with these dangerous creatures. And then
his luck ran out. This movie is assembled from hours and hours of
footage Treadwell shot himself as well as interviews with people who
knew him. While director Herzog clearly has some admiration for
Treadwell, especially as a fellow filmmaker, this is by no means an
endorsement of Treadwell’s behavior or beliefs. As you might expect
from a director responsible for movies like ‘Aguirre The Wrath of God’
and ‘Fitzcaraldo’, Herzog clearly recognizes Treadwell’s self
destructive nature and manic obsession, and that’s really what draws him
to this story. It’s a great movie, and further proof that documentaries
are anything but boring. (Bob Ignizio)
As
soon as you see the Dark Castle Films logo, you know you’re in for a
crap fest. ‘House of Wax’ continues in the tradition of mediocrity
established by the ‘House on Haunted Hill’ and ’13 Ghosts’ remakes,
‘Ghost Ship’, and ‘Gothika’, which is to say that it boasts slick
production values, ample gore, and a worthless screenplay. Essentially,
the first 45 minutes of this film are spent on “character development”,
if you can use that term to describe having unlikable people behave like
idiots for 45 minutes. Just when I was about to turn the DVD off, the
murders started up. Since Paris Hilton played one of the annoying
characters in the film, I figured I might as well at least watch her get
killed. But that was pretty much the high point of the movie. I
suppose something like this is marginally better than the average
eighties “dead teenager” movie rehashing the ‘Halloween’ script, but
that’s about the highest praise I can muster for this waste of time.
Recommended only for those with really low standards, and even then I’d
suggest having a few drinks in you first. (Bob Ignizio)
You’d
think after seeing superheroes done right in the ‘X-Men’ and
‘Spider-Man’ franchises, Hollywood might have learned to stop doing
these kind of movies half ass. Guess not. Instead, ‘The Fantastic
Four’ feels more like the Christopher Reeve ‘Superman’ movies in the way
it drags out the origin phase of the story and tries to focus on
relationships and romance instead of action and fun. Now you may be
saying to yourself, “hey, I liked the Superman movies. I’m not a comic
book geek and I don’t really care how faithful an adaptation this is as
long as it’s a good movie.” And I’d agree with you. Problem is, this
isn’t a good movie. As much as they were bogged down with drama, the
Superman movies still delivered when it came time for the action
sequences. ‘Fantastic Four’ does not. You’d find more exciting fight
scenes in the average Sci-Fi original series. Probably better special
effects, too, or at least as good. Good casting might have saved this,
but except for Michael Chiklis as Ben Grimm/The Thing, none of the
actors made any real impression on me. Strictly carboard. ‘The
Fantastic Four’ might make an okay rental if you’re just looking for
something to kill a couple of hours, but that’s about it. There’s
plenty worse, but to be honest I’d rather watch something really
bad than a mediocre film like this. (Bob Ignizio)
Now
this is the kind of movie Full Moon fans want from the company. It’s cheap
but competently made, and more importantly it’s stupid but in an
entertaining way. Basically this is ‘Child’s Play’ with a cookie instead of
a doll. Gary Bussey plays the homicidal nutjob whose spirit inhabits the
deadly desert. Busey is really the only reason this movie is worth
watching, but it’s enough of a reason that I’d recommend this for trash
connoisseurs. Not great, but if you’re a fan of Full Moon’s oeuvre this’ll
satisfy. I really do wish Band would stray a little from formula once in a
while, though. Sure, he’s filling a market niche, but it’s a niche that’s
now being filled by other companies like Tempe and Asylum (and even some
bigger studios like Columbia/Tristar). Band and company really need to hit
one out of the park soon to regain their status as the company to beat for
‘B’ horror. Full Moon needs to put out another flick like ‘Pit and the
Pendulum’ or ‘The Dead Hate the Living’ (past releases which rose above the
level of mere product) soon or risk being overtaken by those who have
followed in their footsteps. (Bob Ignizio) 
How
could this movie not be nominated for best documentary? The academy
voters are morons. But I digress. This really is the best documentary
of the year in my opinion. For 13 summers in a row, an eccentric,
obsessed guy named Timothy Treadwell went to Alaska to live among the
grizzly bears. Treadwell says he was there to protect the bears,
although it seems clear from this movie that other psychological factors
motivated him as well. Regardless, for those 13 summers Treadwell
somehow managed to co-exist with these dangerous creatures. And then
his luck ran out. This movie is assembled from hours and hours of
footage Treadwell shot himself as well as interviews with people who
knew him. While director Herzog clearly has some admiration for
Treadwell, especially as a fellow filmmaker, this is by no means an
endorsement of Treadwell’s behavior or beliefs. As you might expect
from a director responsible for movies like ‘Aguirre The Wrath of God’
and ‘Fitzcaraldo’, Herzog clearly recognizes Treadwell’s self
destructive nature and manic obsession, and that’s really what draws him
to this story. It’s a great movie, and further proof that documentaries
are anything but boring. (Bob Ignizio) 
As
soon as you see the Dark Castle Films logo, you know you’re in for a
crap fest. ‘House of Wax’ continues in the tradition of mediocrity
established by the ‘House on Haunted Hill’ and ’13 Ghosts’ remakes,
‘Ghost Ship’, and ‘Gothika’, which is to say that it boasts slick
production values, ample gore, and a worthless screenplay. Essentially,
the first 45 minutes of this film are spent on “character development”,
if you can use that term to describe having unlikable people behave like
idiots for 45 minutes. Just when I was about to turn the DVD off, the
murders started up. Since Paris Hilton played one of the annoying
characters in the film, I figured I might as well at least watch her get
killed. But that was pretty much the high point of the movie. I
suppose something like this is marginally better than the average
eighties “dead teenager” movie rehashing the ‘Halloween’ script, but
that’s about the highest praise I can muster for this waste of time.
Recommended only for those with really low standards, and even then I’d
suggest having a few drinks in you first. (Bob Ignizio)