If gore, nudity, and tasteless humor are what
you’re in the mood for, this shot on video horror comedy ought to do the
trick. A busload of cheerleaders explodes, and the nutty
undertaker/sheriff takes the bodies back to his mortuary. Seems he has
a deal with a local pet food company to sell bodies for raw material,
and he either cremates whatever is left or uses a dummy to fill in the
missing parts below the neck. The undertaker’s newly arrived nephew
helps out, and when he finds out one of the severely wounded
cheerleaders is still alive he of course has sex with her. The
undertaker’s assistant sees this, and using some sort of homebrew
hillbilly remedy tries to patch the girl up with various parts of the
other cheerleaders. Before he does that, he chops his own unit off and
replaces it with one belonging to the well endowed guy who was driving
the bus. Without giving away the ending that pretty much sums it up.
Truly tasteless material to be sure, but there are a few funny scenes.
I’m not going to recommend this, but I’m not going to completely diss it
either. Technically it’s competent, and if the above plot synopsis
sounds interesting to you then check it out. (Bob Ignizio)
My favorite
bunch of no-budget filmmakers, the gang at Speedfreak Productions, has just
released the follow up to their highly enjoyable ‘Midnight Skater’. On just
about every level it’s a big improvement over its predecessor. The guys
shot on digital video this time and the picture quality is substantially
better. They also went for a slightly more serious approach, and in the
scenes of real horror this pays off particularly well. The only problems
with this film are that it takes too long to get going and there are a few
too many characters and subplots. Those issues aside, once the horror
portion kicks in at about the half hour mark it’s a solid, enjoyable film
from then on. There’s only so many variations you can do on the “dumbass
reads an evil book leading to demonic possession” idea, but the screenplay
by co-directors Andy and Lucas Campbell and actor Cory Maidens does a pretty
good job of making the material seem fresh. The direction and editing are
as good as many bigger budgeted horror flicks. The acting ranges from good
(Andy Campbell, Nick Jackson, Ashleigh Holeman, Stacy Silvers, and Matt
Trahan especially) to amateurish (I’ll be nice and not name names).
Considering the performers are all friends and family, overall the acting is
much better than you might expect. Special mention should also go to FX
coordinator Ezra Haidet and his team, whose gore effects here are
effectively disturbing, and to Matt Trahan, Bob Hawkins, and Cory Maidens
for an original music score that actually adds atmosphere to the film.
Tempe Video will be releasing this on DVD in June 2004. For the latest news and more info on the Speedfreaks, visit their website at
www.speedfreakproductions.com. (Bob Ignizio)
This
one is about a man who travels to space, encounters a weird space
phenomena with his crew, and returns to earth alone. Quickly, he starts
to melt and he discovers that he must eat human flesh if he wishes to
stop melting. This is so stupid. My first grievance with this movie is
that when faced with the possibility of melting, the guy takes off to
the woods, where there is obviously going to be a considerably smaller
amount of people to eat than anywhere else in the world. I thought for
a while that maybe he ran into the woods to die, not wanting to deal
with the emotional burden of having to kill and eat people, but that
idea quickly flies out the window as soon as he eats his first victim.
The rest of the movie is Mr. Space Man's best friend chasing him through
the woods and Mr. Incredible Melting Man trying to avoid the police that
are also looking for him. This constant cat and mouse game quickly
becomes boring and we are left with nothing to do but watch the really
well done melting effects, which were done by a young Rick Baker. Also,
I don't want to ruin the ending for anyone who hasn’t seen this, so I
won't, but what happens to the Melting Man is so stupid that I was
laughing for an hour after this was done. I guess the only positive
thing to say about this, besides the A+ effects work, is that the film
makers do a decent job at making you feel bad for this guy, running
around the woods and melting and failing at stopping it. But that's
it. I could only give this a C, and that's probably only because I'm
in a good mood right now. Editor’s note: This title is currently only
available on VHS, but since it is part of MGM’s ‘Midnight Movies’
collection there’s a good chance it could show up on DVD. (Edward
Black)
In
the opening scene of ‘Northfork’, a coffin explodes to the surface of a
large lake. But, is this the beginning or the end of the story? Like
the passages of the Bible itself, symbolic references from which lay
heavily throughout this surreal film, ‘Northfork’ offers no clear
answers. Instead, the movie, as with the Bible, presents its own
allegory on life, death, and salvation that is ultimately left up to the
viewer’s own interpretations.
A group of seemingly menacing trench-coated men led
by actor James Woods and Peter Coyote have arrived at the city of
Northfork. You see, the town is doomed. It has been taken by the
government through eminent domain and is about to be sacrificed as flood
land for the government’s new dam project. Not long after most
townspeople have dug up their dead and fled to better land, the Trench
Coats descend onto the town like angels. They are here to “save” the
stubborn few people who refuse to leave, including a man who has built
his home into an ark. While the only animals on board are stuffed
trophies, he does have two wives to accompany him.
It is the job of the Trench Coats to convince these
people to leave. Of course, it doesn’t hurt that the government has
offered them prime, post-flood real estate if they succeed in their
mission. This reward is their own heaven, to be built upon the
destruction of Northfork. One of these Trench Coats, played by James
Woods, works with his son to move people out. Like a seasoned salesman,
he works to save the remaining foolish folk of Northfork. Meanwhile, he
struggles with his own painful decision to either dig up the body of his
wife and move her to higher ground, or leave her behind along with the
rest of his life, hoping the flood waters do not disturb the past.
Like angels, the Trench Coats try to save the lost
souls of Northfork. Yet, unbeknownst to them, “real” angels have also
descended upon Northfork to save one of their own, a mysterious fallen
angel. A local boy, on his deathbed in a nearby orphanage, may or may
not be the angel they seek. Hauntingly acted by 8 year-old Duel Farnes,
the boy seems to be the best salesman of all, passing the angels’
ridiculous tests and conning them into thinking that he’s the real
deal. Is he really the long-lost angel? Or is this the death dream of
a poor orphan boy? In the end, does it matter?
‘Northfork’ is an engaging, mind-numbing play
between two bureaucracies--that made by man and that made by God. It is
an ironic dance between mortals playing God (here, flooding the land
like that in the Biblical story of Noah) and God’s own ineffectual
angels. In the end, there doesn’t seem to be much difference between
the two. (Stephanie Lane)
If gore, nudity, and tasteless humor are what
you’re in the mood for, this shot on video horror comedy ought to do the
trick. A busload of cheerleaders explodes, and the nutty
undertaker/sheriff takes the bodies back to his mortuary. Seems he has
a deal with a local pet food company to sell bodies for raw material,
and he either cremates whatever is left or uses a dummy to fill in the
missing parts below the neck. The undertaker’s newly arrived nephew
helps out, and when he finds out one of the severely wounded
cheerleaders is still alive he of course has sex with her. The
undertaker’s assistant sees this, and using some sort of homebrew
hillbilly remedy tries to patch the girl up with various parts of the
other cheerleaders. Before he does that, he chops his own unit off and
replaces it with one belonging to the well endowed guy who was driving
the bus. Without giving away the ending that pretty much sums it up.
Truly tasteless material to be sure, but there are a few funny scenes.
I’m not going to recommend this, but I’m not going to completely diss it
either. Technically it’s competent, and if the above plot synopsis
sounds interesting to you then check it out. (Bob Ignizio)
My favorite
bunch of no-budget filmmakers, the gang at Speedfreak Productions, has just
released the follow up to their highly enjoyable ‘Midnight Skater’. On just
about every level it’s a big improvement over its predecessor. The guys
shot on digital video this time and the picture quality is substantially
better. They also went for a slightly more serious approach, and in the
scenes of real horror this pays off particularly well. The only problems
with this film are that it takes too long to get going and there are a few
too many characters and subplots. Those issues aside, once the horror
portion kicks in at about the half hour mark it’s a solid, enjoyable film
from then on. There’s only so many variations you can do on the “dumbass
reads an evil book leading to demonic possession” idea, but the screenplay
by co-directors Andy and Lucas Campbell and actor Cory Maidens does a pretty
good job of making the material seem fresh. The direction and editing are
as good as many bigger budgeted horror flicks. The acting ranges from good
(Andy Campbell, Nick Jackson, Ashleigh Holeman, Stacy Silvers, and Matt
Trahan especially) to amateurish (I’ll be nice and not name names).
Considering the performers are all friends and family, overall the acting is
much better than you might expect. Special mention should also go to FX
coordinator Ezra Haidet and his team, whose gore effects here are
effectively disturbing, and to Matt Trahan, Bob Hawkins, and Cory Maidens
for an original music score that actually adds atmosphere to the film.
Tempe Video will be releasing this on DVD in June 2004. For the latest news and more info on the Speedfreaks, visit their website at
This
one is about a man who travels to space, encounters a weird space
phenomena with his crew, and returns to earth alone. Quickly, he starts
to melt and he discovers that he must eat human flesh if he wishes to
stop melting. This is so stupid. My first grievance with this movie is
that when faced with the possibility of melting, the guy takes off to
the woods, where there is obviously going to be a considerably smaller
amount of people to eat than anywhere else in the world. I thought for
a while that maybe he ran into the woods to die, not wanting to deal
with the emotional burden of having to kill and eat people, but that
idea quickly flies out the window as soon as he eats his first victim.
The rest of the movie is Mr. Space Man's best friend chasing him through
the woods and Mr. Incredible Melting Man trying to avoid the police that
are also looking for him. This constant cat and mouse game quickly
becomes boring and we are left with nothing to do but watch the really
well done melting effects, which were done by a young Rick Baker. Also,
I don't want to ruin the ending for anyone who hasn’t seen this, so I
won't, but what happens to the Melting Man is so stupid that I was
laughing for an hour after this was done. I guess the only positive
thing to say about this, besides the A+ effects work, is that the film
makers do a decent job at making you feel bad for this guy, running
around the woods and melting and failing at stopping it. But that's
it. I could only give this a C, and that's probably only because I'm
in a good mood right now. Editor’s note: This title is currently only
available on VHS, but since it is part of MGM’s ‘Midnight Movies’
collection there’s a good chance it could show up on DVD. (Edward
Black)
In
the opening scene of ‘Northfork’, a coffin explodes to the surface of a
large lake. But, is this the beginning or the end of the story? Like
the passages of the Bible itself, symbolic references from which lay
heavily throughout this surreal film, ‘Northfork’ offers no clear
answers. Instead, the movie, as with the Bible, presents its own
allegory on life, death, and salvation that is ultimately left up to the
viewer’s own interpretations. 