‘Ghost Ship’ (2003, Warner Home Video)

Directed by Steve Beck 

I seriously considered doing the obvious 2 word review for this.  But that would be lazy, not to mention it would throw off the layout of this page.  What we have here is your basic bunch of hardened professionals (in this case, an ocean salvage crew) confronted by a threat outside the boundaries of normal human experience.  In other words, the same basic plot as ‘Alien’ or John Carpenter’s ‘The Thing’ or the recent werewolves vs. soldiers’ movie ‘Dog Soldiers’.   The main difference is that those movies were good.  Epps (ER’s Juliana Magulies) is the tough as nails woman in a man’s world, Murphy (Gabriel Byrne) is the grizzled but compassionate father figure/leader, and Greer (Isaiah Washington) is the guy with common sense that everyone ignores.  When Ferriman (Desmond Harrington) comes to the group with a story about an abandoned vessel, the crew decides to set out hoping for the big haul that just might make everyone rich.  

Of course the viewer already knows from the prologue that something ain’t right with this particular ship.  In a fairly impressive grisly set piece, we see everyone on board get sliced in half under mysterious circumstances.  Decades later as our protagonists reach their destination they receive plenty of advance warning that something supernatural is afoot, but the hope of a big score drives them on.  There are signs of violent struggle everywhere on board, and also evidence that others have been on board more recently.  Sigourney…I mean Juliana…also thinks she sees a little girl (Emily Browning) walking around.  Next thing you know, members of the salvage crew start getting picked off one by one.  Will anyone figure out the dark secret of the ghost ship before they all fall victim to its malevolence?  I mean other than the viewer.  Guess you’ll just have to watch to find out, although I don’t really recommend that you do. 

As the aforementioned ‘Dog Soldiers’ shows, as generic as this basic plot is it can still work if the characters and dialogue are interesting, and the director knows how to deliver a good scare.  Here, the characters are never really developed beyond their job descriptions, the dialogue is lame, and the attempts at jolting the viewer fall flat.  Typical Hollywood horror where the filmmakers think they can get by on special effects so they don’t even try to build suspense or create atmosphere.   It’s not that ‘Ghost Ship’ is outright bad.  The technical aspects are sound, and nothing in the script is jarringly stupid.  It’s just like all the other horror films from Dark Castle, the same company responsible for the remakes of ‘House on Haunted Hill’ and ‘Thirteen Ghosts’.  I don’t want my horror movies to be Spielbergian roller coaster rides, I want them to scare and/or disturb me.  ‘Ghost Ship’ just bored me.  (Bob Ignizio)

‘Sordid Lives’ (2000, 20^th Century Fox Home Video)

Directed by Del Shores 

If you like quirky, character-driven comedies with just a touch of outrageousness then ‘Sordid Lives’ should be right up your alley.   Though not without its shortcomings, there are some undeniable big laughs and the ensemble cast of performers is for the most part quite good.  The basic plot is that family matriarch Peggy (we only ever see her corpse), while having a tryst with the married double amputee G.W. Nethercott (Beau Bridges), tripped over G.W.‘s wooden legs in the dark and died from the resulting fall.  Peggy‘s sister Sissy (Beth Grant) has been forced into the role of intermediary between her two nieces, Latrelle (Bonnie Bedelia) and Lavonda (Ann Walker), each of whom has different ideas for how the funeral should be handled.  The main bone of contention seems to be whether or not burying their mother with her favorite mink stole is appropriate given the warm weather.   

Sissy‘s next door neighbor and friend of Lavonda is Noleta Nethercott (Delta Burke), the wife of the philandering amputee.   Although Lavonda is at first worried that events will put a strain on their friendship, after watching ‘Thelma and Louise’ together the two go down to the local bar where G.W. is drowning his sorrows and proceed to raise hell under the influence of the movie, booze, and valium.  Meanwhile, Latrelle’s son Ty (Kirk Geiger) is seeing a therapist about his issues with being gay and coming out to his mother.   He’s not sure if he’ll be attending the funeral, in part because of the poor treatment his uncle Earl, aka “Brother Boy” (Leslie Jordan), a flaming drag queen, has received from the residents of his hometown.  There’s more, but that gives you a pretty good idea. 

Obviously that’s a lot of plot for one movie, and at times ‘Sordid Lives’ seems to lack focus.  Still this is a comedy and as long as I’m laughing I can’t complain too much.  And is it just me or does Olivia Newton John (in a small part as “Bitsy Mae Harling) look hotter now than in her ‘Xanadu’ days?   I can sympathize with those who find the stereotypical redneck humor either offensive or just plain silly.  Transvestite “Brother Boy” comes off pretty stereotypical as well.  That said, this is far from a mean spirited film and I’m getting sick of the PC police trying to tell us all what we can and can’t laugh at.  There’s a big difference between gentle ribbing and hate speech.  While I can’t say this is a “must see” movie, if you’re looking for some light entertainment to kill an hour and a half or so ‘Sordid Lives’ should do the trick. (Bob Ignizio)

'Wendigo' (2001, Artisan)

Directed by Larry Fessenden 

This is by the same guy who made ‘Habit’, a serious low budget vampire flick that in my opinion had way to much praise heaped upon it.  I found it well made but boring and pretentious.  At times, ‘Wendigo’ threatens to head in that direction as well, and no doubt some will find it too slow moving.  Still, this story of a family spending their vacation at a wooded cabin with menacing locals straight out of ‘Delieverance’ for neighbors and an old Indian legend about a violent nature spirit thrown in for atmosphere kept my attention.  A lot of that is due to some good casting.  Mother is played by Patricia Clarkson, looking much younger here than she does on HBO’s ‘Six Feet Under’ and even turning in a sexy love scene with her husband George (Jake Weber).  Their son is played by Erik Per Sullivan (Dewey on ‘Malcolm in the Middle’), and as anyone who’s watched that show can attest he’s one of the better child actors out there. 

The plot gets set in motion when the family sedan gets stuck in a ditch.  A group of not so friendly hunters have a little bit of fun at their expense, but one of them, Otis (John Speredakos) appears genuinely menacing.  Eventually the hunters help the family out of the ditch, but there’s obviously some tension between dad and Otis.  After a whole lot of plot, eventually the son hears a tale of the Wendigo from a mysterious Indian at the town’s general store and things start to happen.  This is one of those “psychological” horror movies, so you’re never sure what’s real, or if it is real what’s really causing it.  The ending does clear up most doubts, however.  Gore is kept pretty low key, but there are some good scenes of the titular monster chasing after people.  

While this is still far from being a horror masterpiece, director Fessenden seems to have a better handle on making a movie this time around.  His pacing is tighter and the dialogue feels natural for the most part.  If you like your horror serious and subtle, then ‘Wendigo’ ought to make for an enjoyable viewing experience.  If you’re looking for lots of action and bloodshed you’ll probably want to take a pass, though.  (Bob Ignizio)

‘Witchouse 3: Demon Fire’ (2001, Full Moon/Tempe Video)

Directed by J.R. Bookwalter 

While Hollywood keeps throwing millions of dollars away making boring fright flicks like ‘Ghost Ship’, low budget auteur J.R. Bookwalter consistently delivers entertaining chillers for next to nothing.  I’m inclined to agree with the filmmaker when he writes in the DVD’s liner notes, “…I think movies should come with details about their budget, format, and schedule emblazoned on the packaging.”  He reasons that the viewer might then have a little more respect for the results guys like him achieve for, in this case, $26,000.   First of all, the movie looks like it was made for much more than that due to the professional videography of Dannie Draven.  Also the cast of “scream queens” including Debbie Rochon, Tina Krause, and Tanya Dempsey all turn in much better performances than the norm for low budget horror.  And most importantly of all, in my opinion, is the fact that the script is fairly well written and the dialogue relatively groaner free. 

Annie (Dempsey) flees from her abusive boyfriend Burke (Paul Darrigo), taking up with her friends Stevie (Rochon) and Rose (Krause) who are making a documentary on witchcraft.  During a séance, the may or may not have summoned forth a witch named Lilith (Brinke Stevens).  Either way, strange things are happening.  There’s no mass carnage or anything, but the girls are definitely being stalked by something or someone.  Could it be the abusive boyfriend?  Could it really be a witch?  Or is it one of the girls themselves?  The movie does a good job of keeping the viewer guessing and provides a few good creepy moments before coming to a somewhat sloppy and unsatisfying conclusion.   It didn’t ruin the movie for me, however.  It just felt a little trite considering some of the serious subject matter (namely abuse) that factors into the plot. 

Regardless of my feelings on the story’s resolution, I still enjoyed watching this.  Bookwalter has come a long way as a director form his early days and clearly shows a knack for pacing and getting the best out of his performers.  And unlike a lot of indie horror directors he’s just as comfortable with dialogue and character development as he is with building suspense or shooting effects scenes.  Also of note is the soundtrack by Cleveland’s own Midnight Syndicate.  I wasn’t at all surprised to see they’ve moved into scoring, and their atmospheric gothic sound is perfectly suited for setting the mood of a horror film.  Finally, let me just say that if possible rent or buy the DVD.  Bookwalter’s Tempe video company has packed this, like all their releases, with a wealth of entertaining bonus features.  (Bob Ignizio)