Megan Fox running in slow motion, her orange tinged cleavage glistening, breasts a bouncing, while giant fire balls explode behind her. That one shot, repeated at least three times, more or less sums up Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen. Okay, I suppose that’s not all there is. There’s also lots of CGI robots, most of whom rush by on the screen so fast you can’t tell one from the other.
You want a plot synopsis? Okay, Sam (Shia Lebouf) is heading off to college, hoping to maintain a long distance relationship with Mikaela (Fox). Despite all these two have been through together (see the first Transformers movie if you must), neither one can bring themselves to tell the other “I love you”. That’s pretty much it for character development for our two leads. Meanwhile, the Autobots (good guy robots, in case you didn’t know), led by Optimus Prime (voice of Peter Cullen) are working together with the U.S. military to track down any remaining Decepticons (bad guy robots). A particularly nasty Decepticon named “The Fallen” (voice of Tony Todd) is looking to turn the tide with some ancient doohickey, but he needs Sam to get to it. Lots of stuff blows up. That’s pretty much it.
As with the first Transformers movie, what makes this one tolerable for me is the comic relief. Most of this is provided by Kevin Dunn and Julie White as Sam’s parents, and John Turturro as a former government researcher turned deli owner. I’m not saying this is comedy gold here, folks, but when these actors are on screen I was at least entertained. For the most part, though, this movie is a whole lot of action for action’s sake. It’s generic, predictable, and has no characters that we can emotionally invest in. I suppose there were some moments that were kind of fun, but what possible reason can there be for dragging mindless fluff like this out to 2 and a half hours? No movie about Megan Fox’s hooters and giant robots beating each other up ever needs to be longer than 90 minutes. Still, it’s more mediocre than bad, so I guess 2 out of 4 stars.